Mental Illness

When you hear the term, "Mental Illness", what comes to mind?  The man pushing the shopping cart around town mumbling to himself?  The lady you've heard about that hasn't left her home in 10 years?  Birth defects?  Accident victims?  Suicides?
All of these are valid examples of the mentally ill, but don't begin to illustrate every possible case of mental illness.
Having just spent a week at Woodridge (Our local mental health hospital) after a nervous breakdown and a diagnosis of "Depressive Disorder", I can tell you from first hand experience that mental illness doesn't belong to any one group of people.  On my wing alone, we had men and women, all ages, all races, all income levels and all different levels of education. 
It was, quite possibly, the hardest, most awful week of my life ... but totally, necessary.  I hated it.  It was truly no fun at all.   Not a bit like a spa.  ( why I thought it would be restful, I have no idea ... let's blame the mental illness, shall we? LOL)  It was more like a comfortable jail.
We had no privacy.  We spent all day in the view of the staff and had to get along with each other even though we were all at very different places.  We went to group therapy together, we ate meals together and we even lined up for meds together.  I think it was the longest week of my life. I know it was the only week of my life that I never got to go outside and breathe some fresh air.
The only bright spot was my daily visit from Kevin and sometimes, Rachael.  Gran and Sharon were allowed to come at one point, but visitors were very  limited and only for about an hour each day. Even that was bittersweet as I could tell they had been crying and hated leaving me there.
So, what did I learn?
1.  I've had this mental illness all my life.  So many past struggles now make sense.  For that, I'm thankful.
2.  This illness requires diligent effort to keep under control, but I can get better.
3.  Mental illness requires attention to the physical and the spiritual as well as the emotional.  All three must be healthy and whole.
4.  Every person, whether smart, dumb, attractive, ugly, rich, poor or whatever deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.  There's an old southern saying,  "there but for the grace of God, go I".  Next time you're tempted to scoff at someone, remember that it could be you, given the right circumstances.
5.  Never, ever, share your prescription meds with someone else and never, ever let them share theirs with you.  This is enabling and part of what landed me in the nuthouse to begin with.
6.  If you are on any prescription drugs, make extra sure you are taking the right dosage.  Don't be afraid to double check with your doctor or pharmacist about dosage.  This is another lesson learned the hard way and another contributing factor of my breakdown.
7.  God is very present in the psych ward.  You do not want to be there alone, trust me!?  It can be a scary place.  But, I know that everything can be used by God and I'm looking forward to seeing how He will use this particular aspect of my life.  Even our therapists told us that those patients with faith as part of their lives had the best chance at recovery.
8.  If you are suicidal or experiencing cycling of moods to the extremes as in feeling like you are Queen of the world one day and plunging into the bottomless pit the next, or even just really sad for a long time, do not give up!  You can get better!  You'd take insulin if you were diabetic, right?   Well, it may be that your brain is struggling.  Maybe your receptors aren't working right.  Maybe you don't have enough serotonin.  Who knows.  Get help.  Whether through a counselor, doctor, clergy, friends, whoever you have to talk to, refuse to settle for less than the life God intended for you!  He did not create you to be a pit dweller!
9.  The doctors, nurses, techs and other staff that work at Woodridge are amazing.  How they can stay calm and positive with people trying to harm themselves, ranting and raving, crying, trying to roam around naked, stealing from each other, lying and who knows what all, is beyond me.  I suspect they may have a high burn out rate.  It's a really tough job and I hope to pass along the kindness that I saw there. 
10.  Last but not least.  Your family deserves to have the best you that you can be.  If you can't seek help for yourself, do it for them.  My breakdown was harder on my family than my breast cancer was, I think.   I wish I had been more pro-active and not reached that breaking point if only to have spared them the pain.  I can't go back and fix the past.  I only have today.  If you can avoid some pain by knowing about my experience, please do so and Give God the Glory!